1. 30
    Sep

    "Do not board"

  2. 22
    Sep

    What if I’m a bad person? Or am I turning into one because of my fears?

  3. 50652
    4
    Sep
    wendygirlyoumoveme:

funkocide:

krazykawaiikid:

i need this


oh my christ they put a bar over the eyes of a cartoon man how is nobody talking about this

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

Banana phone

    wendygirlyoumoveme:

    funkocide:

    krazykawaiikid:

    i need this

    oh my christ they put a bar over the eyes of a cartoon man how is nobody talking about this

    ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

    Banana phone

    (Source: idontgiveahex, via wendycorduroy)

  4. 1
    26
    Aug

    Thought: should I be more masculine? Masculine people are often strong and open-minded, but have enough confidence in themselves that makes them rather unchangeable.

    Feminine traits, on the other hand, have been associated with positive and negative traits as well, such as being nurturing, graceful, caring, yet weak and changeable.

    People think masculine and feminine traits are a stereotypical way to view the personalities of men and women. That’s not exactly true. Being masculine and being feminine simply refer to certain personality traits that both men and women can take on indiscriminatingly.

    Now there’s a paradox here: if I choose to change and be more masculine, obviously I’d have to change certain things about myself. But if i stay as feminine as I am now, I am susceptible to even more changes when I face different people.

    Ah. Here’s my problem: I fucking care too much about how other people feel when most of the time they don’t even give any fucks about me.

  5. 1
    26
    Aug

    Effeminate but it’s annoying me

    It’d be nice to have someone telling me,
    “It’s not you who needs to change. It’s me. I’m the one with a problem and I recognise that it is making you unhappy. I will compromise for you because you are important to me.”

    Would be nice if I’m not the one doing all the changing and compromising for once.

    I hear many people commenting about differences between groups of people in society and I think about the people around me. It is true, even with my peers we do have different mindset, we want to do different things in life. Yet somehow, I always get this feeling that I’m supposed to follow after the actions of their perspectives. That even though I have differing views backed up by reasonable explanation, I usually find myself changing to suit the tastes of others, and like how anyone else would react, this is starting to irritate me because it is rather unfair to me. When I do try to speak up, nobody finds the need to compromise for me.

    Alright. Maybe this is my problem. That I am too effeminate in nature and too bending for other people. Perhaps from now I should stick to being myself and my own views, yet be acceptable for others’ if they differ. Although, I’m not sure if I should still change if someone points out something undesirably nasty in my behaviour. After all, those people had something nasty in theirs, yet they’ve never bothered to correct themselves, why should I? Yes I am angry. Truckload full of resentment for this hypocritical world that’s filled with lies and deceit, people preaching one and acting another, people acting open-minded yet can’t stand certain opinions. It’s so very two-sided. All very two-sided. I’m honestly very sick with this.

  6. 10512
    25
    Aug

    "You either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else."

    - Daniel Franzese (via turuie)

    (Source: blazeberg, via the-vee-word)

  7. 15
    Aug

    Fourth day.

    I’m supposed to be feeling better after that, but no, I feel overwhelmed again. And lonely. Very lonely. Frightened. Just wish.. things could stop pulling me down when I try to brighten things up.

  8. 234809
    14
    Aug
    sexceptional:

Jack wrote this, I only edited it :)

    sexceptional:

    Jack wrote this, I only edited it :)

    (via butyouaremyraisondetre)

  9. 812255
    14
    Aug
  10. 1
    14
    Aug

    Relapse.. again

    Yesterday, I got overwhelmed by all the upcoming workload of this semester and finally broke down. As strong as I wanted to try to be, I couldn’t, because it was all so daunting, so big, so very big, I couldn’t handle it. New things to learn, so many things to do, so many new people to get friendly with, I don’t like to interact with people, but I love having friends.

    All I wanted to do was to let myself lean against concrete, because I couldn’t support myself. Couldn’t hold on, just felt like leaving everything behind, fear, anxiety…

    Anxiety.

    Fear.


    But could I? I can’t be selfish. I can’t be that weak. I have to hold myself strong. 

    I went to bed, crying myself to sleep, this is starting to become a habit now. 

    Woke up this morning not having the mood at all to get out of bed to go anywhere. That need to run away came back, the fear to get up and face the day, face the modules I signed up for, I didn’t want to, it was paralysing. How do my friends do it? They seem so content and happy, so strong, just go through the motions and get through it, why can’t I do the same?

    Came home straight after lessons and crashed on my couch almost instantly. Slept and woke up, fell asleep again, the cycle continues twice more, finally I saw the corn under the refrigerator. (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.sg/2013/05/depression-part-two.html)

    I chose those modules because I loved what they promised to teach, to make me understand. Why am I making myself miserable by focusing on the details? No. Focus on the end result. Focus on the big picture. The big picture. I chanted the big picture, the big picture.

    I have to get through this.

avatar_96
A pen name doesn't restrict me like an Asian name does. Or so I like to think.
Words are like notes scrawled across staffs.
I hope you can hear what mine are singing


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